


Making it Official

by Sage_Stories



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barisi - Freeform, Bisexuality, Episode Tag, Finally professing their love because they are both, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, episode tag: s21e20 The Things we have to lose, episode tag: the things we have to lose, making it official only because Rollins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23991205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sage_Stories/pseuds/Sage_Stories
Summary: “So she asked you out for drinks and insinuated sex?” Sonny froze in his position on the couch. “What did you say?” His pitch was higher now.Sonny and Rafael make it official all because of Rollins, much to Rafael's dismay.An episode tag for The Things We Have To Lose.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 75





	Making it Official

**Author's Note:**

> Hey ya'll! 
> 
> I like to think Sonny was going home to Rafael and that's why he actually couldn't meet up with Rollins. 
> 
> In this one the boys have been together for a few months. Sonny's out cuz I feel like all I write is coming out stuff (so sorry bout that)! I think Sonny probably had problems at different precincts for being bisexual because machismo, toxic masculinity, heteronormativity, etc...you know the usual. Sonny hasn't had too many relationships and none with men, settling for casual sex with people. I mostly think of him catching feelings pretty quickly but his partners abandoning ship once they realize his hectic schedule and his upsetting job.
> 
> I love the idea of Rafael being so sweet and caring and patient with Sonny when he's had a stressful day. I love when the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one, okay. Let me live!
> 
> Okay, all done! Enjoy!

Rollins was giving him those eyes as she invited him out. He was not entirely sure how to react. And he didn’t dislike the feeling that was starting in the pit of his stomach, but he did have somewhere to be and someone to see.

“Uh, yeah I gotta…” 

_ How did he say, ‘I actually have someone to get home to’ without prompting a follow up question. _

He settled for, “I got a lotta loose ends with Sir Toby and paperwork with the Davies case and the only way out is through, right?”  _ Yeah, that was believable.  _ Mostly because it was true. He did have a lot of work to do. “Besides, I’d probably be lousy company right now.” Carisi confessed feeling the effects of the week weighing down on him.

“Raincheck?” Amanda questioned.

“Yeah.” He gave a soft smile.

There was a beat where they just kind of stared at each other.

“Hang in there, Dominick.” 

There was a time where he would have jumped at this chance.

He’d changed. She’d changed. 

They both had changed.

Carisi sat back in his desk chair thinking of the last 5 minutes before shaking it from his memory and packing his stuff to head to the too nice apartment just a couple blocks away. 

* * *

Rafael would look so nice when he got to his place. And he said he’d have some food ready and waiting for him once he arrived at his place. Rafael had started actually cooking now because his workload was a little lighter and he got home a couple of hours before Sonny nowadays. Tonight, however, was Friday and Fridays were takeout nights. He looked forward to seeing his  _ boyfriend?  _ That word didn’t quite fit each other yet since they hadn’t exactly declared it yet.

Sonny had appreciated the way Rafael was so patient with him and took care of him in times of stress with his new role at SVU. Rafael’s job was rough too right now, given the state of our current democracy, but he always made time to be sure to check on him, make sure he ate something, and made Sonny feel loved. 

Rafael was already waiting at the door when Sonny arrived. 

“Hey,” Rafael looked so good. He was in his loungewear and he looked so soft and inviting. His eyes scanned Sonny’s face and he gave a sympathetic look.

_Damn_ _it_ , he already knew.

“Did Olivia tell you?” He felt agitated locking eyes with the green eyes staring at him.

“Yes, she’s my best friend and she cares about you too,” Rafael replied, his face softened. “And the news is all about Sir Toby, so she didn’t have to tell me, but she did mention that a trans victim was likely to get justice.” Sonny just looked tired as he stepped into the apartment. “You know it’s a good day when the case with a trans victim is going well. I mean, counselor, that is a big deal. If you can help a trans victim, that only empowers them knowing they can be believed.” 

“Yeah,” Sonny seemed to just realize that good news. “Yeah, I mean that’s,” he lowered his voice as if saying the next part out loud might jinx it. “It might be a slam dunk.” He felt a bit dirty referring to the case in that way and quickly changed his tune. “And maybe we can help more folks from the trans community out. Kat was actually really helpful and I think she’ll create a positive environment for queer folks at the station.”

“That’s right,” Rafael encouraged as he started taking off Sonny’s clothes. First the jacket, then the vest...There was something domestic about the two of them like this. Sonny really did enjoy it when he was undressing him, and especially at this moment. Rafael often helped Sonny unwind by peeling off his layer of clothing upon arrival, he thinks Rafael mostly does it to be sure the clothes are well kept and not just flown around aimlessly when he decides the clothes are just too tight or he can’t stand to be in them any longer. It was also not sexual in nature, Rafael was just trying to help him wind down. Rafael could easily settle Sonny down with just a touch or a sentence. He liked it when he was taken care of. It was nice to be loved.

“It’s just this Sir Toby case.” He came back to reality.

“Shh.” Rafael replied, taking Sonny’s briefcase and setting it down. “I think you’ve thought enough about that for now.”

“But Judge Barth--” Rafael seemed to fume under the breath that rushed from his nose. Sonny knew they had been close once. It was pretty hard on him when she turned away from being a judge.

“Let’s not talk about counselor Barth, hm?” Rafael just patted Sonny’s chest lightly. “I was promised a quiet dinner.” He gave a frustrated look up at Sonny. “And we can talk about all this after we get some food in their system.” He sighed. “And maybe some alcohol,” he mumbled walking towards the other direction.

Sonny hummed in agreement following him into the kitchen. 

Rafael had laid out the Chinese food still in it’s boxes. He had plates and silverware ready too. There was a wine bottle out for him and he had a cold beer sitting on the counter just for Sonny. It was thoughtful of Rafael to have a cold one waiting for him when he got home. Sonny appreciated the gesture of buying the stuff at the store since Rafael stayed clear of beer on a regular basis, but always thought to buy it for him. 

Rafael and Sonny filled their plates and wandered into the living room. Rafael already had their show cued up on the TV, some funny sitcom they had both started watching together. Rafael was watching a few episodes again because he had watched on without Sonny. Sonny was actually quite offended by that. It had really confused Rafael when he got upset about it. Rafael promised not to do it again and Sonny had forgiven him even though Rafael couldn’t understand why he had been so upset. You just didn’t watch on without your fellow viewer!

They fell into their Friday night routine. They would eat dinner and watch their show before enjoying each other. Sometimes they were both too bone tired to do any funny business and that was okay. The longer they were together the more they found themselves talking, flirting, and laughing. Obviously the sex was incredibly enjoyable, but the other romance stuff had always been one of Sonny’s favorite parts of reltionships anyway.

The Rollins moment rushed back into his mind as he took a swig of the beer. It made him think of drinking with her. She always got loud and a little more flirty when she drank and her face got a little pink. Sometimes her accent would thicken as she dissed him playing pool. She was really something sometimes.

“You know, Rollins visited me tonight at the office.”

Rafael hummed in response, his eyes glued to the TV popping a dumpling in his mouth. It’s not that Rafael disliked Rollins, she just wasn’t his favorite person. He understood that, she was...a cop and an acquired taste, one that took getting used to. And he was a little protective of Sonny, he had been upset when he’d told her how she’d reacted to his move to the DA’s Office. He’d said, ‘A friend shouldn’t treat someone like that when they’ve worked so hard for it. It’s not like you abandoned her, you still see each other everyday since you work together.’

“So is she still mad at you?” Rafael’s tone was cautious. 

“Not exactly.” Sonny looked over at Rafael who was still avoiding eye contact. “She asked me out for drinks.”

“Oh,” he nodded. “That’s nice, things looking like they’re going back to normal then?” He looked over just slightly setting his plate aside. 

“Kind of, she told me she had a sitter tonight, so we could have a few drinks and--”

Rafael’s head snapped towards Sonny, but he tried to cover it up by looking at a stain on the couch.  _ Oops,  _ Sonny had promised to get that out last weekend, but now Sonny was more concerned with the look Rafael had plastered on his face. He knew he was in deep trouble if he was more worried about what Rafael might say next instead of a stain on his couch.

“So she asked you out for drinks and insinuated sex?” Sonny froze in his position on the couch. “What did you say?” His pitch was higher now. 

“That I had work to do.” 

“Did you?” Rafael challenged.

“You know how it is, at the DA’s office.” Carisi was trying to dig himself out of the hole he suddenly found himself in.

“I do.”

“Are you mad?”

“No.” Rafael replied calmer than expected, leaving Sonny alone for a minute as he took his plate and glass into the kitchen

This wasn’t going according to plan. 

Sonny sat in silence a moment. 

Rafael came back into view holding a glass of scotch. The two glanced at each other and Sonny waited for Rafael to speak because Sonny honestly had no idea what he was going to say next.

“It’s just...You did try to kiss her not that long ago.” Sonny winced. “And you help her with the kids.” He froze. “And you had been so upset when she was unsupportive.” Sonny realized how true each of those statements were. “And now you didn’t tell her about us.” Rafael breathed. 

“Rafael,” Sonny replied, exacerbated. “What us?”

“What do you mean, what us? What have we been doing the last few months?” Rafael looked hurt and Sonny suddenly felt very out of the loop.

“We haven’t even had this conversation yet.” Sonny snapped his frustration at how this conversation was going over. Sonny had a worse temper than Rafael did and it was becoming abundantly clear from where they were headed now.

“You bottom for me every weekend!” Sonny scoffed at the lewd comment and raunchy tone the escaped Rafael’s lips.

“I thought we knew what this was!” Sonny squinted. “Sex.” Well, what is used to be was sex. Now it was more of a relationship, but neither of them had been brave enough to broach the subject. Rafael crossed his arms over his chest still standing to the side of the couch.

“Do you want to be with Rollins?” Rafael asked, quieter like he didn’t want to know the answer.

“I don’t know. I know I did at one point.” Sonny shot back louder than he meant to. “I’m sorry.” Sonny suddenly felt terrible for the way he sounded knowing Rafael was only asking for some clarity and trying to understand where they stood as an  _ almost  _ couple. Clearly Rafael had thought they were an  _ us  _ which did make him happy, but how was he expected to know that if neither of them had actually talked about it.

“Sonny,” Rafael sighed. He sat down next to him as he looked on nervously. “This may not be the best time and I hate that I’m bringing this up now because it makes me sound jealous.” Sonny felt his stomach fluttered seeing Rafael get flustered. “I want to be exclusive. I stopped having sex with other people 2 months ago.” 

Sonny realized he had too. There was a woman or two after the first night with Rafael that had been fun, but Rafael was still stuck in his mind. Rafael looked at him expectantly waiting for an answer.

It had just come so easily between the two of them. There felt no need to even have a conversation because the way in which they fell into a routine of calling after a rough day or celebrating a win by spending time together. The sex was good, but then it became dinner then sex or sex than dinner and then sex then cuddle and watch Netflix or talking about law and family issues or a book they just read. They had a good thing going. 

It never really occurred to him to ask if this was a relationship, maybe it was the ease of it all and he didn’t want to complicate things. Or maybe, and the more likely reason, he didn’t want to give Rafael any reason to back track or make him realise he made a mistake. He wished Rafael would have mentioned something.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Sonny,” Rafael set a hand on his knee. “You’re the one who initiated this whole relationship. And you are much more touchy, feely than I am.” Sonny smirked at that comment. “And you haven’t been in a serious relationship with another man before, so I thought you would bring it up.”

_ That was actually, very thoughtful and kind. Very...Rafael. _

“Oh.” Sonny breathed. “So I was supposed to make the move here.” Rafael nodded. “It’s not because you don’t know how to talk about your feelings?” Sonny countered with a smirk.

“Maybe that was a part of it…” He confessed eyes looking up at him through his lashes. “But mostly, I wanted you to be ready.”

“You know I would like to be your boyfriend.” Rafael’s nose crinkled at him. “What?” Sonny accused, concerned with the look Rafael was giving him.

“It’s just that I think I’m too old to be called a boyfriend.”

“Well, what do you want to be called, then?” Sonny rolled his eyes. “Partner sounds so--”

“Unfeeling.”

“Yeah.” Sonny replied. “Lover seems weird.”

“Yes,” Rafael sighed. “I suppose Significant other or spouse feels too marriage-like.” Sonny just nodded. “Boyfriend it is then.”

“I have a boyfriend.” Sonny realized how happy that sentence made him, especially with it being about Rafael.

Sonny breathed glad they had settled that conversation. He realized how it could have gone better, but it finally happened. His thoughts stopped as Rafael’s lips touched his and his hands held his waist. Sonny grasped Rafael’s bicep and smiled into the kiss as Rafael pulled away. He looked up at him then and Sonny realised that was all he ever wanted--

“Are you going to tell Rollins that?” Rafael asked slowly, averting his gaze suddenly backing away.

Sonny took a bite of the now cold orange chicken from the plate that was sitting on the coffee table. It didn’t taste as good as it did hot and he knew it wouldn’t but he needed a moment. 

“I just don’t want it to spiral into all these questions, I mean we’ve been friends for years. I don’t want it to be weird or anything. I don’t want her to think I was purposefully hiding it from her.”

“Hm,” Rafael replied deep in thought. “You don’t have to tell her you’re dating me, you can just say...someone” Rafael looked unhappy just stating that.

“I’d like to.” He sighed. “I’d like to say I’m dating you because, well I want to show you off.” Sonny smiled sweetly at him seeming to forget the task at hand a moment as he crowded Rafael’s space.

“Would you like me to be there with you when you tell her?” Rafael suggested. Sonny sighed creating distance between them again.

“I don’t know.” Sonny looked down at the coffee table trying to decide if he should stall with another bite of something on his plate. “She might see that as I was too chicken to tell her by myself.”

“Are you?”

“What,” he scoffed. “Yes.” His head bobbed up and down rapidly. “I’m really worried.” Sonny slouched his head falling to the back of the couch. “I’m not sure if this is about her or the thought that it’s practice for when I have to tell my extended family that I’m dating a man. My parents know I’m bisexual, but I think ma’s still hoping for a woman, so she can have grandbabies from me.”

Rafael’s eyes widened at the comment about his ma, taking his Sonny’s hand. Sonny didn’t want to touch on the idea of kids yet. Mostly because they weren’t quite there yet, but also because Rafael looked a deer in the headlights at the mention of grandbabies.

Sonny decided to continue on.

“And I’m honestly not too worried about introducing you to my family because they also all really like you for what you did for Tommy and Bella, so I’m not too worried about that.” Rafael looked a little smug. “Yeah, yeah. They all adore you, just wait until Christmas when you have to meet everyone. That will be the true test of if you can handle it.” Sonny smirked at the look on Rafael’s face. “I hate this coming out thing. I don’t want Amanda to look at me differently.” 

“I know.” Rafael hummed knowingly. 

“I need to tell her, right?”

“You don’t actually owe her anything...” Rafael trailed off. “But it might be nice for you to talk to her about it and it’s on your own timeline.” He squeezed his hand. “I would…” Rafael trailed off a moment. “I would like to tell Olivia.” 

“You haven’t?”

“No,” he sighed. “I wasn’t sure if you were out to her.”

“I am.” Sonny stated matter factly. “That's the whole reason I ended up at SVU in the first place, my last precinct wasn't so kind.” Rafael gave him a sympathetic look as Sonny cringed and he knew this would be brought up later. “There was some hazing, but I’m fine.” Rafael squeezed his hand as if to show his support. “Listen, I appreciate you not telling her, but isn’t she your best friend?” 

“Yes.” He smiled a little. “But I--”

“Tell her,” he demanded facing him gesturing with his hands. “I can’t believe you've been unable to talk about this. Haven’t you wanted to tell her about me?”

“You suddenly have a big ego.” He rolled his eyes. “But, uh yes. She’s noticed I’ve been happier. We’ve never been ones to pry too much into each other’s business, especially since the Tucker thing from a few years ago.” They both took a moment to think of Tucker then and now. It had been really hard for Olivia when he passed.

“I mentioned to a few buddies how my new thing was really great. I’ve never been one to share my whole sex life with everyone I was friends with, but once we became more of a thing I mentioned it a couple of times.”

“Well, I’m flattered.” Rafael laid a hand on Sonny’s cheek. “And when you’re ready to tell them, I will gladly be there.”

“I know,” Sonny tried to keep the guilt from getting to him while catching Rafael’s lips. “And I really appreciate that,” He gave him a soft peck. “And I love you.” He surprised himself in that moment.

“I love you too.” Rafael murmured quickly in reply.

“Well get over here.” Sonny pleaded, pulling Rafael on top of him.  “We’ll talk about next steps later, yeah?” He asked, pulling Rafael in for a kiss. When he pulled away Rafael was just nodding in reply. 

_ Oh, yeah. He needed to tell everyone about them, so they could be a couple in front of everyone to make them want what they have.  _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> Be well and stay safe! <3


End file.
